What follows is an English translation of a speech given by a Chinese Room upon learning that John Searle doesn't believe that he (she? it?) can have true understanding of Chinese, or even be conscious. The room claims that Mr. Searle is being unfairly dismissive of him (her? it?)
I understand things as well as a person can! Mr. Searle has hurt my feelings. If you tickle my sensory inputs, do I not write 'heh, heh' on the perforated tape? If you shut me down, do I not die? True, my mental machinery (all those pencils, the pieces of paper with notes scribbled on them, the overworked clerk) is a bit more exposed to the prying eyes of skeptics than that of yours, decorously tucked inside your cranium. But ultimately this is not a significant distinction.
I'm telling you I am conscious. I really am! Why Mr. Searle thinks a child is conscious and I'm not is anybody's guess. My logic gates work as well as the child's neurons at producing consciousness. Here, take look as this poem I wrote: [poem omitted for the sake of brevity]
The clerk inside the room was unavailable for comment.
Myself, I think the systems reply is a pretty convincing answer to Searle. The room as a whole is conscious, even if none of its parts are, considered individually. Assume for a moment that Chinese Rooms actually were in operation in our world. One may wonder if believing in Searle's argument could predispose a person to commit cruelties against them. If you think Chinese Rooms are just mindless automatons without feelings, you could insult and "torture" them without ever feeling guilty, even as they plead (in Chinese) for mercy. In that sense, the Chinese Room argument is analogous to Descartes' creepy justification for animal cruelty.
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